Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So many bounce houses so little time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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