Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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