My brain says no but my pants say off.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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