direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's shark week go big or go home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
