Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
