Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
