singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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