Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
