Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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