OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
