so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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