is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
