mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
