dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
