so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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