How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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