i just google imaged poop.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize