your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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