Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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