I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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