This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
