I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
