just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
