I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
