Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
