dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he thought i was a dude.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
