Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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