On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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