Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
