Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
