she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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