its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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