so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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