TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
