I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
