Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize