those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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