This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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