It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
