how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
