I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
