He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
