I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize