i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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