i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
