the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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