"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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