we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
