I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
