Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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