She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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