Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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