Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there's paper in my vomit.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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