the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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