He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
