I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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