I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
a search helicopter?!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize