Don't you send me to vm
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
