Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
