he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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