I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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